Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.
  • I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.
  • My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.
  • My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.
  • Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.
  • If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.