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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

41 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Live now on Facebook:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Spotted on Discord:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Spotted on WeChat:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Making waves on X:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Just landed via Threads:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Reported on WeChat:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Jan 21, 2025

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🔥 When you thought it was all about rescuing cute fluffy kitties, but then it's time to slide down the fire pole and face the real deal! 🚒🔥 "We're going where?" Oh, dear volunteer firefighter, get ready for some purr-fectly unexpected adventures ahead! 😺🔥 #NotJustCatRescues #FirefighterLife

cat, cats, expectation, firefighter, first week, going, humor, me, rescue, surprise, thinking, volunteer, week, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

41 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Just landed via Slack:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Going viral on X:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Making waves on Threads:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Trending via Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Just shared via Slack:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Spotted on Discord:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

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