If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Commentary:
“When you show someone the year they can retire, it’s like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

    Commentary:
    🍎🍌🍊 “Ah yes, the prestigious profession of a ‘fruit stickerer’ – where attention to detail and precision are essential! 🤹‍♂️ Who knew perfectly placing those tiny stickers could be such a ripe career choice? 🍇🍐 Remember, it’s all about that peel-fection! 🤣”

  • If you’re tired of β€œfood” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend β€œcuisine”?

    Commentary:
    Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary “food” and ready to greet the fancy “cuisine”? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️

  • One thing that could really β€œlevel-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine a world where a car’s turn signal actually works, and pedestrians don’t have to play a dangerous game of ‘Guess which way this giant metal box is going next?’ 🚗💡 Talk about a pedestrian-friendly upgrade! Now if only we could get the drivers to use that magical blinky light consistently… 😅”

  • No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, my schedule is already booked solid with napping and avoiding responsibilities. No room for any unexpected love drama! 😂💔 #NotReadyForThatCommittment”

  • Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

    Commentary:
    Well, it sounds like you’re caught in a classic case of bad timing and good taste! 🕰️🤷‍♂️ Maybe it’s time to find that rare gem who is single and has questionable taste in men. 😉👀

  • I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

    Commentary:
    “Who says therapy has to be expensive? Just head to the nearest empty field and let it all out! 🌾🗣️ Don’t worry, the cows won’t judge. 😂 #ReleaseTheKraken”