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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Spotted on Threads:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Spotted on Threads:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

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A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.
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Commentary:
Ah, the great mystery of aging – accumulating keys that unlock doors to unknown realms like lost treasures or secret hideouts 🗝️🚪 Who knows, maybe one day you'll stumble upon a portal to the fountain of eternal youth hidden amongst the clutter of your key ring! 🗝️🌟 Just be careful not to lock yourself out of the present in your quest for unlocking the past 😄🔓 #KeyToTheFuture #ForeverYoungKeys

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

83 shares on Slack this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Just shared via Threads:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Spotted on X:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

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