Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Making waves on YouTube:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just landed via Slack:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Going bananas on X:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Just shared via Slack:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Spotted on Reddit:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Breaking via Twitch:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Making waves on Instagram:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Leveling up my day with the cheat code of a good snack! 🍕😄 Who knew pepperoni was the key to responsible adulthood? 🎮

adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

0

2 months ago

actual, age, fold, here, human, humans, i, laundry, motivation, myself, over, parenting, people, promise, snack, snacks
Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, aging, another, chin, humor, lonely, looks, self-deprecation, welcome
This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

0

2 months ago

confrontation, cop, going, humor, illegal, illegal parking, lights, me, parked, parking, police, sarcasm, say, something, traffic
An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

0

6 days ago

again, article, bored, clean, cleanliness, clothing, enough, floor, germ, humor, joke, laundry, leave, left, procrastination
Microdosing Christmas by being present.

0

2 months ago

being, Christmas, holiday, humor, microdosing, mindfulness, presence, present
We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

0

4 months ago

back, bring, courting, dating, flower, flowers, hell, horse, humor, man, message, modern, modern dating, need, old fashioned, romance, seriously, text, text message, tonight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

27 shares on Slack this month:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

89 shares on X this month:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Breaking via TikTok:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just shared via TikTok:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Shared recently on Messenger:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨