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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

10 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Just shared via Twitch:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Just shared via Threads:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Going viral on Slack:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Going viral on YouTube:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Breaking via Threads:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

6 months ago

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing Hinder: where swiping left on potential matches is just the beginning of your love life obstacles! 🙅‍♂️ Stay tuned for dates canceled last minute, mixed signals galore, and emotional rollercoasters! 🎢 Who needs a smooth sailing romance anyway, am I right? 😉 #SelfSabotageGoals"

app, comedy, dating, Hinder, humor, irony, people, relationships, sabotage, self, self sabotage

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

10 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

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