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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,000

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Shared recently on X:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Just shared via TikTok:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Just shared via X:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet is the true victim of identity theft! 🎰💸😅

addict, addiction, betting, called, gambler, gambling, humor, irony, lose, only, risk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, humor, irony, motivation, nobody, sarcasm, self-deprecating, useless, uselessness, witty
It’s Monday, but at what cost?

0

2 months ago

cost, existential, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek
I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish
A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

0

2 months ago

bad, compliment, confidence, dating, flirting, humor, humor quote, insta, looking, man, me, media, message, said, social, social media
When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

0

2 months ago

40, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, older, say, turning, turning 40, wanted
You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, bill, card, credit, credit card, debt, finance, humor, joke, me, scare

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

97 shares on X this month:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

25 shares on X this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Trending via Messenger:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Freshly posted on X:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Going viral on YouTube:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Just shared via Discord:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Spotted on Slack:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨