A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.