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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Making waves on Telegram:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Just landed via Twitch:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Making waves on Instagram:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew witches could multitask like this? Guess I'll stick to spells and leave the drama to the pros! 🧙‍♀️💔😅

acting, cheating, deception, humor, jealous, jealousy, relationship, talent, while, witchcraft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

2 months ago
ball, expectation, frustration, humor, irony, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

1 month ago
autumn, change, cold, darkness, distant, equinox, fall, fall equinox, filled, honor, humor, i, seasonal, seasonal change, wit
There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

1 month ago
answer, argue, argument, conversation, grok, hopes, humor, little, man, manipulation, nothing, pathetic, sad, sad man, wants, watching
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

5 days ago
ahead, anywhere, change, change of plan, doing, doing nothing, enjoy, event, humor, i, invitation, invite, know, last, last minute, me, minute, need, needs, nothing, plan, preparation, procrastination, social, social event, spontaneity, time
If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

1 month ago
choose, date, decision, humor, irony, men, relationships, same, take, women
Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

1 month ago
confidence, else, enough, humble, i, individuality, know, me, nobody, replace, self-awareness, unique, wise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Spotted on TikTok:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Shared recently on X:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Going viral on Facebook:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

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Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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