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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Going bananas on Threads:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Making waves on Discord:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Going viral on Threads:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

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Commentary:
Monday should come with a snooze button and some caffeine on the side! 😴☕✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

59 shares on Threads this month:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Spotted on Messenger:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Trending via Pinterest:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Freshly posted on X:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Spotted on Instagram:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

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