Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Just shared via YouTube:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Spotted on X:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Just shared via Instagram:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Monday should come with a snooze button and some caffeine on the side! 😴☕✨

disappointment, gift, giving, humor, keeps, land, magic, magical, Monday, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

0

5 months ago

alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds
That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, feel, feel good, feeling, good, humor, i, me, motivation, positive, positive feeling, self-improvement, think
Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, conversation, crisis, excuse, existential, existential crisis, finish, food, going, humor, irony, me, question, sir
Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

0

2 months ago

freedom, having, humor, i, kid, kids, lifestyle, man, parenting, sarcasm, sucks, time, want, whatever
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

0

3 months ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering
If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

0

2 months ago

bathrooms, ever, funny observation, humor, irony, observation, perspective, pools, remember, self-worth, useless

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

97 shares on X this month:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

31 shares on Discord this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Live now on Snapchat:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨