Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

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The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

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Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

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The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

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Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

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Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

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To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

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If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.