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Commentary:
"Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"

always, bottle, celebration, fridge, fun, humor, keep, occasion, special, special occasion, Wednesday, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, invoice, management, people, sarcasm, time, time management, wasting, wasting time, wish, work
Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

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2 months ago

aliens, am, coming, door, Earth, everyday, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, misunderstanding, moon, people, pull, pushing, still, struggle
Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

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2 months ago

adult, adult friendship, commitment, friendship, girl, hangout, humor, jokes, keep, life, procrastination, rescheduling, social, social life, us
My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

0

2 months ago

being, bounced, check, guess, health, humor, insane, mental, mental health, perspective, reality, reality check, sarcasm, stay, time
My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

0

2 months ago

behavior, boomer, bring, complaint, courtesy, etiquette, item, knows, most, nobody, party, social, social behavior
Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

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2 months ago

animal, encouragement, every, horse, horses, humor, i, motivation, perseverance, quit, remember, stop, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

47 shares on Discord this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Going bananas on Threads:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Just shared via TikTok:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Going bananas on Telegram:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Shared recently on X:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Freshly posted on X:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Trending via TikTok:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨