Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

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My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

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Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

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If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

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Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

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Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

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Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

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Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

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If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

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The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.