Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
  • I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.
  • Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.
  • I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.
  • Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.
  • Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.