Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Breaking via Threads:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living my best life: professionally unemployed 😂🏖️✨

annoyed, freedom, frustration, humor, i, job, life, live, want, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

2 months ago

cheese, choice, food, happiness, humor, life, people, sadness, simple, simple life
I’m not old, I’m vintage.

2 months ago

age, humor, life, old, perspective, self-deprecation, vintage, wisdom
A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

2 months ago

blind, blindness, compliment, face, guy, humor, perception, said, wonderful
Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

2 months ago

believe, event, excuse, humor, i, invitation, invited, party, sarcasm, social, social event
Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

2 months ago

activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

2 months ago

archaeologist, back, digging, discovery, excavation, hand, humor, joke, looking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Freshly posted on X:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Broadcasted on Discord:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Just landed via Reddit:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just landed via Slack:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨