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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My life coach traded me.

Live now on X:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Just landed via Threads:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Seen just now on Twitch:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Trending via X:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Witty text expressing frustration about work and freedom, humorous and relatable.
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Commentary:
Living my best life: professionally unemployed 😂🏖️✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I love when the plot thickens.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Making waves on X:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Live now on Facebook:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Making waves on Messenger:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Trending via Threads:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

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