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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Making waves on Telegram:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Spotted on Telegram:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Just landed via Messenger:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

5 months ago

0

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why, oh why, are folks out here pretending to be film critics? 🎬🍿😂

behavior, comment, comments, Funny, humor, internet, online, online behavior, porn, porn site, site, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

0

5 months ago

attention, attitude, even, hatred, humor, imagine, indifference, me, paying, sarcasm, self-confidence
I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, i, problem creating, problem-solving, self-deprecation, shine, skill, skills, where, wit
People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

0

2 months ago

days, empty, enough, glove, humor, people, sarcasm, slap
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

0

2 months ago

am, bigger, getting, house, housing, humor, i, joke, landlord, me, misunderstanding, money, raising, rent, response, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic response, wit
If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

0

2 months ago

basketball, business, championships, helping, humor, i, local, order, spirit, sports, team, team spirit, teen, teen wolf, transformation, wolf
If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

0

2 months ago

ads, annoyance, communication, humor, inconvenient, neighbor, person, personification, stop, talking, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

41 shares on X this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

16 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

96 shares on Facebook this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Just landed via Instagram:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Making waves on Reddit:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Just landed via WeChat:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Breaking via Messenger:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Just shared via Threads:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

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