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Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Spotted on YouTube:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Milk or be milked.

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

24 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about a playful job interview joke involving beauty and confidence.

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Commentary:
So you're telling me my ability to salsa with HR isn't an asset? 🌶️💃🕺

apparently, beautiful, beautiful Latina, dating, dating problem, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, latina, problem, weakness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

4 days ago

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

2 weeks ago

being, dancing, fun, girl, humor, Molly, name, party, rave, situation, tough
Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

2 weeks ago

adult, brain, coffee, drink, even, functioning, functioning adult, humor, i, just, me, taste, thinking, trick, tricks, work
The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

18 hours ago

another, big, calendar, getting, humor, Jesus, joke, number, religious, religious joke, soon, time, too, year
Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

4 days ago

emotion, feelings, humor, i, joke, play, sarcasm
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

2 weeks ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

69 shares on X this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

43 shares on X this month:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

45 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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