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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Just landed via TikTok:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Live now on TikTok:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

4 weeks ago

Playful text about booing Prejudice at a Pride and Prejudice screening.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot Twist: Every time Prejudice appears, just yell 'I object!' like you're at a wedding! 🎩😂📖"

booing, comedy, commentary, humor, literary, movie, prejudice, pride, Pride and Prejudice, satire, screen, social, social commentary, whenever

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Shared recently on Slack:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Shared recently on WeChat:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Just shared via Discord:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Making waves on X:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

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Activity Log ✨

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨