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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Trending via Telegram:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot Twist: Every time Prejudice appears, just yell 'I object!' like you're at a wedding! 🎩😂📖"

booing, comedy, commentary, humor, literary, movie, prejudice, pride, Pride and Prejudice, satire, screen, social, social commentary, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

0

2 months ago

activity, decorating, focus, fun, fun activity, holiday, humor, job, quitting, tree
Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, doing, dry, Dry January, humor, January, joke, mean, sense, sense of humor
If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

0

2 months ago

40, age, clothes, couch, display, fashion, humor, laying, mannequin, over, over 40, people, should, stores, want
I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

0

2 months ago

bet, Bigfoot, cheeseburger, creature, food, friendship, hangout, humor, i, mythical, mythical creature, once, time, us, wildlife
I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, came, humor, i, moment, saw, situation, social, social situation
Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

0

5 months ago

another, daily, daily routine, day, God, gratitude, humor, routine, screen, screen time, technology, thank, thank you, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Slack this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Seen just now on Discord:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Going viral on Discord:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Just shared via TikTok:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Going viral on YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Making waves on X:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨