Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.