Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

24 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Making waves on Instagram:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Just landed via Instagram:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Seen just now on Threads:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Seen just now on Threads:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

6 months ago

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the fascinating journey from Tips A to P must have been quite the bumpy ride! 🤣 Imagine the mishaps, the trials, and the tribulations along the way. Thank goodness for the invention of the perfect Q-tip to save us from the horrors of Tips A to P! 🙌 #TheStruggleWasReal

before, horrific, humor, kinds, perfection, Q-Tip, things, tips, wonder, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

24 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Just landed via Telegram:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Live now on Instagram:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Going viral on WeChat:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Reported on Telegram:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Trending via YouTube:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Going viral on Discord:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴