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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Freshly posted on Threads:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Going bananas on Threads:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Trending via Discord:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Broadcasted on Discord:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Live now on WeChat:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

2 months ago

0

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about a dramatic entrance into the world! From nature's 'loading screen' to swiping and tapping your way through Candy Crush levels in no time 🤯🍬📱 Must be quite the upgrade for those tech-savvy little ones! #BornToSwipe"

activity, baby, being, candy, Candy Crush, childhood, crush, excitement, exciting, fun, fun activity, gaming, going, imagine, iPad, months, playing, technology, womb

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

0

2 months ago

depressed, half, horny, humor, joke, know, math, media, social, social media, Twitter
Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

0

2 months ago

brag, cashier, checking, checking out, flirt, humor, joke, me, play, play on words, relationship, words
I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, humor, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, preferences, self-awareness, social
This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

0

2 months ago

adulting, chapter, financial, financial status, humor, life, life chapter, paid, positivity, rent, self-deprecation, status, struggles
Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

0

2 months ago

50, best, budget, cooking, every, food, hours, humor, irony, life, meal, meals, money, month, own, save, saving, time
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

0

3 weeks ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

32 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Trending via Slack:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Going viral on Instagram:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Trending via WeChat:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Breaking via Twitch:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

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