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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Breaking via Slack:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Just landed via Messenger:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Just shared via Instagram:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Just shared via X:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Just landed via Slack:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

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Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about a dramatic entrance into the world! From nature's 'loading screen' to swiping and tapping your way through Candy Crush levels in no time 🤯🍬📱 Must be quite the upgrade for those tech-savvy little ones! #BornToSwipe"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

24 shares on Discord this month:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

45 shares on X this month:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

74 shares on Discord this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

100 shares on X this month:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Live now on Telegram:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Going bananas on X:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

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