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Commentary:
Sounds like this person's blood pressure meter is also their "hoe-ometer"! 🤣📈 Guess it's all about self-care and keeping those stress levels low, even when the temptation is high! 💁‍♂️ #HealthFirst #NoHoeChasing

blood, blood pressure, chase, dating, health, high, hoe, humor, pressure, relationships, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, call, communication, dating, girlfriend, hello, humor, love, me, relationship
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

0

2 months ago

death, humor, life, peace, peaceful, philosophy, pleasant, transition, trouble
Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

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2 months ago

confusion, curiosity, ever, funny reaction, head, head tilt, humor, media, multiple, post, puzzled, questioning, reaction, read, social, social media, still, tilt, times, whisper
Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, beauty, confidence, faith, fine, high, high school, humor, i, justice, lose, nostalgia, reflection, school, today, whenever
Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

0

2 months ago

acting, avoiding, avoiding talk, busy, conversation, coworker, i, life, personal, personal life, something, talk, tell, today, wants, workplace
“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

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2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, i, job, just, life, marriage, responsibility, right, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

29 shares on Discord this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Trending via Facebook:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Going viral on Messenger:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Making waves on Telegram:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Spotted on Slack:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Seen just now on X:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨