Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Boys may be like a box of chocolates – sometimes sweet, sometimes nutty, but always a little messy! Just remember, it's all part of the charm… or so they say!"

attraction, boy, boys, disgusting, feeling, humor, relationship, thing, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For the record, I use a turntable.

7 days ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, music, nostalgia, record, turntable
They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

6 days ago

governance, humor, invent, party, political, political party, politics, satire, should, suck
Milk or be milked.

2 days ago

dairy, humor, idiom, metaphor, milk, pun, wordplay
My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

2 weeks ago

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

2 weeks ago

40s, age, aging, believe, disbelief, guess, humor, life, life stage, old, second, second guess, stage, welcome
Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

2 weeks ago

always, crazy, health, humor, mental, mental health, stay

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Discord this month:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

52 shares on Discord this month:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

53 shares on Slack this month:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

37 shares on Facebook this month:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Spotted on TikTok:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Broadcasted on Slack:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Making waves on Facebook:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Spotted on Telegram:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For the record, I use a turntable.

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Milk or be milked.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨