Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Just shared via Threads:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Going bananas on Reddit:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like that twin sibling rivalry really took a dark turn! 😅💥👯‍♂️

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

0

2 months ago

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn
My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

0

2 months ago

air, alcohol, drink, flask, humor, optimism, positivity, thin
I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

0

4 months ago

adult, bear, energy, energy level, exhaustion, functional, hibernation, humor, level, levels, self-deprecation
I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

0

4 months ago

apology, communication, distraction, frustration, humor, i, misunderstanding, multitasking, noise, noises, said, same, sorry, things, time, too
I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

0

2 months ago

alarm, always, bedtime, before, best, humor, i, laziness, minutes, morning, procrastination, sleep, sleeping
Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, eyes, humor, lighting, perception, room, terrifying, true

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

46 shares on Slack this month:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Shared recently on Discord:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Breaking via X:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Making waves on Discord:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Spotted on Instagram:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨