Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Spotted on X:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Just landed via Twitch:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Live now on Snapchat:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Live now on Slack:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Seen just now on Threads:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Trending via Pinterest:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Just shared via Discord:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like that twin sibling rivalry really took a dark turn! 😅💥👯‍♂️

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, cholesterol, diet, good, good news, health, high, high score, humor, i, irony, news, score, time, today, wellness
I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, humor, i, irony, media, much, people, please, share, social, social media, stand, validation
Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

0

2 months ago

alligators, animal, chance, humor, joke, later, lifespan, live, year’s
Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

0

5 days ago

behavior, entertainment, experience, funny behavior, humor, laser, laser pointer, looking, movie, optimal, optimal viewing, pointer, should, using, viewer, viewing, watching, where
The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

0

2 months ago

appetite, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, regret, second, snack, stopped, want, wish
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

0

2 months ago

drink, good, humor, irony, lying, lying down, man, moon, problem, put, relaxation, space, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Instagram this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

19 shares on Discord this month:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Just landed via Facebook:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Just shared via Instagram:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨