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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Making waves on X:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Just landed via Threads:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Breaking via Twitch:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Just landed via Telegram:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Playful quote about taking a break, humorously referencing a "gap year" with witty words.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 'gap year,' also known as a year-long masterclass in procrastination. 🤷‍♂️ Here's to taking a break from adulting and indulging in a gap of profound leisure! 😂✨ #LazyGenius"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Just shared via WeChat:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Just landed via Facebook:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Just landed via Telegram:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Freshly posted on Slack:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

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