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Commentary:
"Let's face it, being called a tough cookie is like being handed a raisin cookie when you were hoping for a chocolate chip! 🍪😆 Tough cookies — more like 'crumble under pressure' cookies! #CookieTruths"

baking, calling, compliment, cookie, food, food humor, humor, irony, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

1 month ago
distance, humor, joke, me, mile, need, relationship, stay, sun
Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

1 month ago
adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings
Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

3 months ago
authenticity, care, decision, doing, else, everything, feels, humor, intuition, letting, life, life skill, mindset, only, right, self, self-care, skill, underrated
My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

1 month ago
frustration, gift, holiday, humor, husband, i, marriage, me, pissed, prank, put, remote, tree, under
Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

5 months ago
40, attraction, coworker, distance, feet, hot, hours, humor, just, office, proximity, time, week, work
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

1 month ago
casual, chaos, circus, guy, head, humor, laid-back, personality

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Just landed via X:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Going bananas on Discord:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Going viral on TikTok:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

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Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My recliner and I go way back.

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

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Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

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