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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Spotted on Instagram:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Going viral on Slack:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: The 'light at the end of the tunnel' is just the fridge bulb. 🍕😂 #LifeGoals"

future, growth, humor, i, life, motivation, need, past, personal, personal growth, phase, reflection, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, chef, cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, i, kitchen, later, meal, pan, recipe, something, staying, take, tell
I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

0

2 months ago

enough, got, humor, irony, me, never, parents, politics, rich, socialist, upset, wealth
Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

0

2 months ago

around, casino, dog, every, finish, food, gestures, gone, hands, humor, i, love, pet, prove, proving, snack, something, time, wave
Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, friends, gatherings, high, high school, media, neverending, nostalgia, relationships, reunion, school, social, social media
I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

0

2 months ago

am, crazy, fun, humor, i, just, normal, personality, sanity, self-awareness, time
I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

0

2 months ago

chaos, humor, i, mess, physics, quantum, science, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Going bananas on Slack:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Live now on Facebook:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Spotted on Facebook:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Going viral on Reddit:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨