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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Breaking via Facebook:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Live now on LinkedIn:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Just shared via Discord:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Just shared via Reddit:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Going viral on X:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: The 'light at the end of the tunnel' is just the fridge bulb. 🍕😂 #LifeGoals"

future, growth, humor, i, life, motivation, need, past, personal, personal growth, phase, reflection, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

0

2 months ago

cats, culture, Egyptians, history, humor, internet, still, today, used, walls, worship, writing
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

0

2 months ago

attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity
Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

0

2 months ago

ad, ads, book, books, cool, entertainment, humor, media, reading
I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, blessing, comedy, faith, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pockets, stability, stable, want
Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

0

2 months ago

careful, follow, humor, irony, masses, silent
11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

0

2 months ago

am, anything, attitude, daily, daily routine, humor, motivation, possibility, procrastination, routine, time, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

75 shares on X this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

64 shares on Slack this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Trending via Snapchat:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Making waves on Discord:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Going viral on Facebook:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Just landed via Pinterest:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨