Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Happy President's Day! Just following in the footsteps of our esteemed leaders by procrastinating on my responsibilities like a true POTUS 🇺🇸💤 #PresidentsDayProcrastination"

anything, celebration, day, doing, doing nothing, holiday, humor, i, laziness, nothing, President’s Day, presidents, procrastination, promise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

0

2 months ago

bottle, car, cupholder, humor, marriage, new, passenger, practicality, relationship, seat, size, water, water bottle, wife
I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

0

2 months ago

everything, happiness, happy, i, life, need, person, simple, simple person, want, work
Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

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2 months ago

call, family, grandma, humor, perception, scandalous, sundry, underwear
I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

0

2 months ago

bouquet, cheese, craving, food, humor, i, mozzarella, snack, wish
I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

0

2 months ago

being, call, called, communication, humor, joke, life, lot, nothing, phone, sarcasm, things, worse
Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

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2 months ago

adventure, dangerous, dangerous journey, fantasy, friendship, Frodo, Gandalf, gardener, humor, journey, lord, Lord of the Rings, rings

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

66 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

21 shares on X this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Just landed via Telegram:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Going viral on TikTok:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Breaking via Slack:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Breaking via X:

Going viral on Telegram:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Trending via Threads:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨