Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.