Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took the 'giving up' part of Christmas a little too literally! 🎁 Santa will need an extra big sack of motivation for this one! 🎅🏼 #HolidayHumor"

Christmas, giving, good, holiday, humor, joke, resignation, sarcasm, season

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

0

2 months ago

better, change, humor, i, need, new, new year, optimism, resolution, self-improvement, turn, year
If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

0

2 months ago

baby, childbirth, feet, hat, humor, mom
I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

0

2 months ago

bag, candy, commentary, humor, i, joke, M&M, social, social commentary, woke, wordplay
If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

0

2 months ago

awkward, colonoscopy, embarrassment, humor, live, live stream, medical, medical humor, posts, self-deprecating, stream, think, unexpected, wait
My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

0

4 weeks ago

boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever
The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

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2 months ago

after, days, five, humor, Monday, relatable, weekend, work, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

17 shares on Discord this month:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Going viral on WeChat:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Breaking via YouTube:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Seen just now on Slack:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Just landed via X:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Just shared via Facebook:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨