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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Just shared via Facebook:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Just shared via Twitch:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Going viral on Twitch:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Live now on Messenger:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"☕ Coffee is so last season, I'm ready to power up with the blood of my enemies today! 💪💀 Who needs caffeine when you've got revenge coursing through your veins? 😂🔥 #MondayMotivation"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

39 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Trending via Twitch:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Shared recently on Discord:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Trending via Telegram:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Making waves on Instagram:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Making waves on Discord:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Just shared via X:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

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