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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Iโ€™m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Threads:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Making waves on Instagram:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Just shared via WeChat:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Freshly posted on X:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ainโ€™t no way thereโ€™s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Live now on Twitch:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? Iโ€™m too tired.

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? Iโ€™m too tired.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal cry for someone to adult when adulting feels like climbing Mount Everest in pajamas ๐Ÿ”๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…. Time to summon the responsible fairy godparent or just take a power nap and hope for the best! ๐Ÿ’ค๐Ÿงšโ€โ™‚๏ธ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2315 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,477

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,477

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

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Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

So, youโ€™re telling me Iโ€™m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Pinterest:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to middle age. โ€œI carried a watermelonโ€ has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Breaking via WeChat:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Trending via Facebook:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Shared recently on Threads:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Just shared via Facebook:

On Halloween, Iโ€™ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Making waves on WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid wonโ€™t open.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Iโ€™d rather you donโ€™t watch me while Iโ€™m liking my own post.

Just shared via Snapchat:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

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