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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Breaking via X:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Seen just now on Slack:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Making waves on YouTube:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Just landed via WeChat:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Trending via Snapchat:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Playful quote about the Titanic's pool still holding water after all these years.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least the Titanic's pool is dedicated to maintaining its H2-legacy! 💦🚢 Who knew the ship had its own eternal hydration plan? Just keep swimming… or sinking, in this case! 😄 #TitanicPoolGoals

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Live now on Facebook:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Going viral on Messenger:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Spotted on Twitch:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The older I get, no.

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