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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Trending via Reddit:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Spotted on LinkedIn:

They’re making me do work at work.

Seen just now on X:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Live now on Discord:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Making waves on Facebook:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Shared recently on Facebook:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, at least the Titanic's pool is dedicated to maintaining its H2-legacy! 💦🚢 Who knew the ship had its own eternal hydration plan? Just keep swimming… or sinking, in this case! 😄 #TitanicPoolGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Shared recently on Discord:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Going viral on Threads:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Shared recently on Discord:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

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