Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Just shared via TikTok:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Broadcasted on X:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Trending via Twitch:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Seen just now on Slack:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Live now on TikTok:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Blaming the mirror for what the chef cooked! 🍬🪞🍽️

complain, cute, humor, i, irony, kid, kids, parent, spoil, spoiled

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

0

2 months ago

decision making, even, humor, knows, me, move, next, nobody, self-awareness, surprise, uncertainty, unpredictability
I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily functions, discomfort, fact, functions, funny observation, humor, i, ignore, life, observation, pee, procrastination, realization, spent, trying
You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

0

2 months ago

age, call, call recording, calls, data, digital, digital age, funny insult, humor, insult, joke, kind, person, recorded, recording, sarcasm, tech, tech joke, training, training data, used
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

0

2 months ago

ever, everyday, everyday life, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, movement, moving, rage, road, road rage, slow, slow movement, someone, store, walking
Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, humor, instinct, know, minutes, nature, newborn, old, wit
Talents: eating!

0

2 months ago

eating, food, humor, lighthearted, skill, talent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

38 shares on Threads this month:

Mike is short for Micycle.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

49 shares on Discord this month:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Live now on TikTok:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Going viral on TikTok:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Going viral on Threads:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Going viral on Facebook:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Talents: eating!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨