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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Shared recently on X:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Broadcasted on Threads:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

3 weeks ago

Playful text about how 'daffodil' sounds like an insult, with a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just when I thought flowers couldn't throw shade, you come in with your petal-powered sass! 🌼😂

daffodil, flower, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, sounds, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

47 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

10 shares on X this month:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Just landed via Twitch:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Live now on Threads:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Trending via Threads:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Breaking via Reddit:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

I love men with a provider fetish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Keep the laugh going 😂

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

I love men with a provider fetish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨