Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Seen just now on Slack:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Just shared via Discord:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Just shared via X:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Making waves on Telegram:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Seen just now on Slack:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear sleep, you're a reliable old friend, but sorry, my browser history is just too captivating! 🌊🏄‍♂️😴"

beat, distraction, humor, internet, net, procrastination, sleep, surfing, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

0

2 months ago

anyone, difficulty, frustration, humor, joke, know, life, sarcasm, self-deprecation, setting, stress
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

0

2 months ago

awesomeness, back, confidence, humor, i, intimidate, personality, self-deprecation, shy
As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

0

2 months ago

brain, childhood, communication, humor, i, irony, kid, media, nostalgia, Oz, self-reflection, social, social media, someone, talk, technology, used, watch, wizard, Wizard of Oz, wonder
Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

0

2 months ago

concert, etiquette, filming, number, performance, rule, sing
What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

0

2 months ago

buy, clueless, day, gift, humor, i, idea, likes, love, misunderstanding, once, relationship, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, wife
A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, action, action comedy, assembly, bedroom, bedroom set, chan, comedy, complete, end, fight, fight scene, furniture, humor, IKEA, jackie, Jackie Chan, Malm, pieces, scene, set, warehouse, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

60 shares on X this month:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Going viral on Slack:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Just landed via Reddit:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Making waves on X:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Just landed via Slack:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Spotted on Twitch:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Making waves on Instagram:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spotted on Discord:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨