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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Making waves on Twitch:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Just shared via YouTube:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Live now on WeChat:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Breaking via YouTube:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here we go again with the same old crap 💩😂 deja vu more like deja poo!

before, deja, deja vu, feel, humor, joke, poop, same, shit, vu, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

0

2 months ago

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale
Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret
Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

0

4 months ago

bat, bats, breakup, fear, humor, i, joke, million, reaction, relationship, sarcasm, second
At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

0

2 months ago

always, Christmas, finance, holiday, humor, invoice, joke, outstanding, payment, reference, seasonal, time
Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

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1 month ago

challenge, control, emotion, emotion control, emotions, extreme, extreme sport, humor, menstruation, mood, mood swings, period, sport, swings, while
I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, joke, pics, pizza, start, unsolicited, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

10 shares on Slack this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Going viral on YouTube:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Going bananas on Slack:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Going viral on X:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨