Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.