Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,914

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Making waves on YouTube:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Making waves on TikTok:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Just shared via Reddit:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Just shared via WeChat:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Just landed via X:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe the T-Rex would have been a little less grumpy if it had a cup of espresso in the morning ☕️🦖 #CoffeeSavesLives"

caffeine, coffee, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, humor, irony, prehistoric

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

0

2 months ago

getting, hot, hotter, i, inform, just, plan, regret, weird
Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

0

2 months ago

before, childhood, drawing, family, fridge, furious, going, humor, internet, meant, nostalgia, sibling, viral
It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

0

2 months ago

Beyoncé, day, deception, digital, digital deception, easy, humor, humor quote, i, identity, internet, internet humor, internet joke, joke, just, lie, lying, media, online, online identity, online lying, social, social media, telling, too
70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

0

2 months ago

am, bullshit, drowning, frustration, here, humor, i, irony, planet, sarcasm, water
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

0

4 months ago

afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

0

2 months ago

cesarean, coming, coming out, event, humor, i, introvert, invitation, invite, me, places, reluctance, social, social event, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

93 shares on Threads this month:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

11 shares on X this month:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Making waves on Facebook:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Just shared via Threads:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Going viral on Twitch:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Seen just now on Telegram:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨