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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,051

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Just landed via Telegram:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Going viral on Discord:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Trending via Telegram:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why stop at outdoor heating? Let's make outdoor refrigerators a thing too! 😂❄️🍹"

comfort, expense, fortune, heating, humor, indoor, inside, irony, just, know, outdoor, outdoor heating, people, practicality, spend, temperature

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

0

2 months ago

hottest, hottest single, humor, joke, me, music, personality, self-confidence, single, Spotify, year
The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

0

2 months ago

20, 20 years, asked, away, being, bo, family, house, injustice, junk, parents, procrastination, responsibility, storage, take, year’s
A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

0

2 months ago

aging, asking, conversation, getting, getting older, half, having, humor, interaction, just, lessons, life, life lessons, much, older, person, plus, repeat, small, small talk, social, social interaction, spent, talk
Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

0

2 months ago

encouragement, humor, listen, little, password, security, strong, technology
Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

0

2 months ago

animal, asking, cat, emotional, emotional support, humor, participation, still, support, want
Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

0

2 months ago

comparison, Facebook, friends, humor, media, pens, relationships, social, social media, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Live now on Facebook:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Just shared via Instagram:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨