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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Going viral on Instagram:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Just landed via Twitch:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Going viral on Facebook:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Spreading quickly via X:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Spotted on X:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who's really in charge here, me or my virtual overlord? 🤔🤖🙃

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, funny question, human, human interaction, humor, intelligence, interaction, question, technology, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

0

5 months ago

bet, dumb, even, fake, fake laugh, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, relationship, sarcasm
11 out of 10 women are always right.

0

2 months ago

always, confidence, humor, opinion, relationship, right, women
All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

0

2 months ago

best, childhood, dad, family, fun, humor, memory, mischievous, mom, parenting, prank, secret, start, tell
Overthinkaholic!

0

3 months ago

addiction, funny word, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, personality trait, trait, word
Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

0

2 months ago

avoid, awkward, awkward situation, event, ever, ghost, ghosting, interaction, past, situation, social, social interaction
My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

0

2 months ago

complicated, humor, me, motivation, relationship, self, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

95 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

30 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Spotted on X:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Making waves on X:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Going viral on Instagram:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Spotted on Threads:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Trending via Reddit:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Just landed via Twitch:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

11 out of 10 women are always right.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Overthinkaholic!

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨