Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,027

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Live now on Slack:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who's really in charge here, me or my virtual overlord? 🤔🤖🙃

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, funny question, human, human interaction, humor, intelligence, interaction, question, technology, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

1 month ago
happiness, head, health, humor, joy, laughter, mental, mental health, need, release, relief, sometimes, stress, stress relief, thoughts, uncontrollable
In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

2 weeks ago
20s, before, dating, demon, dream, dreams, evil, important, light, loser, love, man, narcissist, relationship, run
Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

1 month ago
basket, carry, carrying, convenience, grocery, grocery store, humorous, i, middle, moments, much, overestimate, shopping, should, store, stores
If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

2 months ago
alternate, alternate universe, hope, humor, i, intelligence, parallel, parallel reality, reality, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, universe
Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

2 months ago
actually, apology, back, communication, hand, humor, mature, maturity, phone, relationship, sorry, texting
British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

1 month ago
British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Trending via YouTube:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Spotted on Slack:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Just shared via WeChat:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏