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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,084

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Trending via Discord:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Going viral on Messenger:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Just landed via Slack:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

6 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Trivial Pursuit took a permanent vacation with the floppy disks! 📚🎉😂

anyone, board, board game, encyclopedia, game, game night, night, nostalgia, old fashioned, play, pursuit, retire, retired, retired game, trivia, trivial, Trivial Pursuit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

0

5 months ago

beat, chess, competition, computer, humor, kickboxing, match, me, once, sport, technology
I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

0

2 months ago

day, Groundhog, humor, ID, nature, over, prediction, trust, weather, weatherman
Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily routine, day, encouragement, every, got, humor, i, motivation, myself, routine, self-talk, tell, weirdness
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

0

2 months ago

activity, avoidance, behavior, chore, cleaner, driveway, funny activity, humor, i, just, me, neighbors, outdoor, outdoor chore, outside, quirky, quirky behavior, run, social, social avoidance, talk, vacuum, vacuum cleaner
The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

0

2 months ago

box, car, cars, everyday, everyday life, glof, glove, glove box, humor, irony, life, never, thing
Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

0

2 weeks ago

app, birthday, birthday reminder, Facebook, humor, media, over-engineering, reminder, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

87 shares on Slack this month:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Just landed via Instagram:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Shared recently on Facebook:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨