Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Making waves on Threads:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Just shared via Slack:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Just landed via Reddit:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Trending via Twitch:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Trending via Instagram:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Twice the fun, double the confusion! 🤔😂❤️

bisexual, every, humor, mean, once, orientation, sexual, sexual orientation, sexuality, twice, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

2 months ago

harmonica, hear, humor, instrument, joke, music, people, playful, quirky, spit
Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

2 months ago

clothing, fashion, good, humor, panty, ruin, style, sundress
Never eat more than you can lift.

2 months ago

advice, diet, eat, fitness, food, humor, lift
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

2 months ago

dad, funny situation, humor, lineup, police, recognition, situation, sneeze
Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

2 months ago

annoyance, blocking, enough, humor, i, joke, lice, relationship, revenge, someone, want
I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

1 hour ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

54 shares on Instagram this month:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Live now on Threads:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Just landed via Discord:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Trending via Slack:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Spotted on TikTok:

Earth is hard.

Going viral on Facebook:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Never eat more than you can lift.

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨