Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Trending via TikTok:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Just landed via Instagram:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Spotted on Threads:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Shared recently on Threads:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Trending via Threads:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty and playful text questioning bisexuality with a humorous twist on sexuality.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Twice the fun, double the confusion! 🤔😂❤️

bisexual, every, humor, mean, once, orientation, sexual, sexual orientation, sexuality, twice, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

3 weeks ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, just, know, life, much, nothing, overwhelm, procrastination, productivity, relaxation, sit, tasks
Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

1 week ago

challenge, control, emotion, emotion control, emotions, extreme, extreme sport, humor, menstruation, mood, mood swings, period, sport, swings, while
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

1 week ago

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting
I will sit in the rain about this.

3 weeks ago

humor, i, patience, rain, sit, sitting, stubbornness, weather
To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

2 weeks ago

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune
Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

2 weeks ago

ask, common, common sense, critique, hate, head, hear, humor, irony, lamb, lambs, movie, people, question, sense, silence, why

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

95 shares on Threads this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

55 shares on Threads this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Trending via Discord:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Going viral on Twitch:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Spotted on Threads:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Keep the laugh going 😂

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

I will sit in the rain about this.

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨