Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

344 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,613

Funny Quotes Topics

17,663

Funny Quotes Images

15,613

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Live now on Snapchat:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Trending via Discord:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"AI might be smart, but it can't out-dumb the experts! 🤖😂 Ignorance: still a human-only feat! 🙌"

actual, artificial, artificial intelligence, humor, ignorance, intelligence, irony, never, replace, technology, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

2 months ago

asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish
If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

3 months ago

ever, hot, i, me, means, missing, news, pictures, put, skinny
It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

2 months ago

back, expectation, humor, irony, job, just, love, relationship, workplace
Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

2 months ago

40s, acceptance, age, aging, good, good health, health, humor, late, late 40s, life, life stages, longer, stages, welcome
You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

2 months ago

DM, funny situation, music, outdoor, outside, romance, situation, speaker, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, window
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

2 months ago

awkwardness, gathering, gatherings, humor, interaction, kill, personality, resilience, social, social awkwardness, social gathering, social interaction, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

68 shares on X this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

22 shares on X this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Spotted on TikTok:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Just shared via Twitch:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Shared recently on Threads:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Just landed via Threads:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨