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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Spotted on Facebook:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Spotted on Facebook:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Making waves on Twitch:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Shared recently on Threads:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Spotted on Messenger:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Breaking via TikTok:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

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Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, Baron von Heldebrandt sure knew how to elevate custard to a whole new level! 🍻 Who knew that a random boozy brainstorm would lead to the festive sensation that is egg nog?! 🥚🎄 Proving once again that sometimes the best ideas come after a few drinks… or maybe in this case, in the middle of drinking! Cheers to the accidental brilliance of Baron von Heldebrandt! 🥂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

85 shares on Threads this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Just shared via Telegram:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Spotted on TikTok:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Breaking via Reddit:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Going viral on Threads:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

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