Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Elliott's priorities were crystal clear: Forget the extraterrestrial heart-to-hearts, just hand over the keys to the bike! 🚲👽 #FlyingBikeDreams"

adventure, bike, care, childhood, E.T., Elliott, ET, flying, flying bike, fun, just, movie, movie reference, reference, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

2 months ago

children, desire, father, ice cream, kids
The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, ethic, home, home chores, humor, minute, procrastination, sit, sit down, thing, work, work ethic, worst
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

2 months ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow
If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

2 months ago

am, exclaiming, expression, good, greeting, horror, humor, i, mean, morning, sarcasm, say
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

4 weeks ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

38 shares on X this month:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Going viral on TikTok:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Freshly posted on Slack:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨