English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

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I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

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“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

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November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

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After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

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I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

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My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

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If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

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“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.