Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Spotted on Threads:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Going bananas on Threads:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Trending via Discord:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Just landed via Twitch:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Just shared via X:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to order a "ppppizza" just turned into the longest siege of my life 🍕😂🗣️

challenge, daily, daily challenge, day, difficulty, every, humor, speech, speech difficulty, stutterer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

2 months ago

cold, compatibility, compatible, date, humor, love, me, months, relationship, remind, someone, thermostatic, winter
The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

2 months ago

cuisine, eat, fast, fast food, food, french, humor, jokes, only, snails, stereotypes
I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

2 months ago

aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

2 months ago

activity, adventure, archery, blindfold, blindfold archery, challenge, fun, fun activity, give, humor, know, missing, new, outdoor, outdoor activity, risk, should, things, tried, trying, trying new things, uniqueness
Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

2 months ago

adulthood, adulting, body, changes, growing, hair, humor, life, losing, means, want
Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

2 months ago

beat, better, competition, humor, irony, punch, someone, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

88 shares on X this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Going viral on Threads:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Going viral on Messenger:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Spotted on Instagram:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Just shared via Discord:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Live now on Discord:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨