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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,919

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Spotted on YouTube:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Spotted on WeChat:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Just landed via Messenger:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Live now on Twitch:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just landed via YouTube:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Making waves on Twitch:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Spotted on Messenger:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

2 months ago

0

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚲 Seeing a couple on a tandem bike always raises the eternal question: who drew the short straw in this pedaling partnership? 😅 It's like a two-wheeled test of patience and teamwork. Just hope they don't hit a bump in the road… or have a tandem tiff! #RidingInSync

activity, bike, couple, dynamics, every, experience, figure, fun, fun activity, funny observation, humor, i, observation, pissed, relationship, relationship dynamics, riding, shared, shared experience, tandem, tandem bike, time, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

0

2 months ago

activity, always, etiquette, fun, fun activity, gentleman, humor, machine, neatness, shaking, vending, vending machine
Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

0

2 months ago

80s, cartoons, feelings, gadget, inspector, Inspector Gadget, kids, mixed, mixed feelings, movy, nostalgia, technology, Terminator
I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, end, everyone, hold, hold on, humor, i, plot, plot twist, surprise, think, tight, twist, year
Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

0

1 month ago

agree, agreement, before, caution, conditions, humor, i, joke, new, new year, procrastination, read, terms, terms and conditions, year
One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself
AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

0

2 months ago

AI, bad, bad writing, bit, doing, employment, humor, irony, job, job security, save, security, should, technology, training, want, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

15 shares on X this month:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

82 shares on Discord this month:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,741

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Making waves on YouTube:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Going bananas on X:

My love language is being sent money.

Trending via Slack:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Going viral on Threads:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

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