Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Spotted on Messenger:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Making waves on Threads:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Chin-diana Jones and the Temple of Mysterious Fillers! 🕵️‍♀️😂💉

beauty, chin, chin filler, cosmetic, everyone, filler, humor, lip, lip filler, real, villain

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

0

2 months ago

December, fastest, history, humor, time
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

0

4 weeks ago

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing
I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

0

6 months ago

flag, humor, material, quality, red, red flag, relationship, sarcasm
Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

0

2 months ago

again, big, comma, fan, great, humor, i, just, oh, pause, punctuation, read, sentence, writing
Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

0

5 months ago

communication, email, emails, fun, humor, keep, language, office, throwing, today, vocabulary, wordplay, work, work email, writing
My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, blunder, bottle, co-worker, coworker, humor, i, irritation, miscommunication, office, office humor, over, personal, personal space, prank, situation, space

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

56 shares on X this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

61 shares on Instagram this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

34 shares on Threads this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Live now on Telegram:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Making waves on Discord:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Trending via Reddit:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨