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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Going viral on Messenger:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Breaking via Reddit:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Shared recently on Threads:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Spotted on Facebook:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Trending via Instagram:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about confusing romantic interest with professional flirtation, playful and humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you start believing your own excuses, you're definitely on that level 😂🤦‍♂️#Oops #StayReal

actually, attraction, everything, feeling, feels, humor, likes, misconception, misunderstanding, relationship, stripper, thinking

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

99 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

54 shares on X this month:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Going viral on Threads:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Spotted on Facebook:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Just landed via WeChat:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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